Medanese IT Geek, movie lover and (mostly) law-abiding citizen. Dreaming of cheap and easy access to ICT, healthcare and education in Indonesia.



The Matrix Runs on Windows XP

Category: Fun — kamaruddin @ 3:08 pm

This video from CollegeHumor is hilarious. It’s a parody of The Matrix. Here’s the transcript.

Morpheus: You’re down to the rabbit hole, Neo. The Matrix is simulated reality construct. It is the most advanced Windows program ever developed.

Neo: Wait?! Windows?

Trinity: The Machine runs the Matrix on Windows XP. Subduing the human race while they harvest us for energy. Lean back.

Cypher: I just have to wait for the hourglass to go away. Ok…

(Trinity plugs in cable to the back of Neo’s head. Neo’s shows funny-agony face)

Trinity: Which one of these is the USB?

Morpheus: I think… that one. Er… No, that one

(Neo’s face still looks like shit)

Trinity: Is it the monitor cable or printer cable?

Morpheus: I think they both have screws, right?

(Trinity plugs in the cable. Windows logo flying. Neo is entering the Matrix)

Morpheus: The Matrix used to run pretty well. But it slows down over time. Cypher, Bittorents, a lot of movies.

(Neo stares at woman with red dress)

Morpheus: Freeze.

Morpheus: This was a training exercise. An agent can take the form of any being within the Matrix. So you’re to trust no one. Unfreeze.

(Scene is still freezing..)

Morpheus: Unfreeze!… This happens from time to time! Go on without me.

(Neo walks away from Morpheus. Morpheus shouts with anger)

Morpheus: Try Ctrl Alt Delete!!!

(Neo enters a room. The Oracle is there, preparing cookies.)

Oracle: Well, hello Neo… Hope you have cookies enabled.

(Neo watches a kid bending spoon with his mind. The kid handover the spoon to Neo. Obnoxious Office paperclip shows up)

Office paperclip: It looks like you’re trying to bend the spoon with your mind.

Neo: Yeah, I got it…

Office paperclip: Can I help you with that?

Neo: I said I got it.

Office paperclip: Have u tried realizing the truth that “There is no spoon”?

(Neo pissed off, bending the annoying paperclip with his mind)

Office paperclip: arrgghh…..

(Neo stands up, asking the Oracle)

Neo: Why am I here?

Oracle: Sooner or later we all encounter an error, Neo. You will have to make a choice. To send an error report or… not to send one. But… is there a difference?

(Neo’s phone rings)

Cypher: Neo, it’s Cypher

Neo: Hey Cypher, what’s up.

Cypher: There is an agent on your tail. You need to do exactly as I say, you understand. To your left is a closet. That closet should be full of guns.

(Neo runs to the closet. Opens up and adult DVDs fall down. He picks one and look at the case)

Neo: Amateurs. Wow…

Cypher: I don’t know how those got there.

(Trinity shooks her head in disgust)

(Neo escapes through the window. Agent is waiting in the alley. Agent approaches Neo. Neo reacts by calling Cypher)

Neo: Cypher, I need to learn Kungfu. Now!

Cypher: Our free trial of Kungfu has expired!

(Agent shoots. Spinning bullet in slow-mo (Matrix style) moving straight to Neo. Neo dodges, but in the end it slows down even more. Agent is upset, placing calls)

Voice from Agent’s phone: Data customer support. This is (indistinct)… from Connecticut (Call-waiting music chimes in)

Cypher: Progress bar is moving but the remaining time is going up!

(Agent looks VERY upset. Chases Neo but for some unknown reason, he lefts lots of shadow traces behind him)

Trinity: Oh God, he’s multiplying!

Neo: No… it’s a bug.

(Agent stops running, examining his surroundings. Matrix codes start falling and slowly turns to blue. Windows’ Blue screen of death pops up. Office paperclip flies in)

Office paperclip: Looks like you’re trying to free humanity. Want some help?

(Scene change. Neo wonders)

Neo: Ubuntu? I’m going to learn Ubuntu?

You can download the video with the help of web video downloader. No software required.

• • •

1 Comment »

  1. Using Mozilla Firefox Mozilla Firefox 21.0 on Ubuntu Linux Ubuntu Linux

    Saved as a favorite, Ireally like your web site!

    Comment by Hudson — 06/10/2014 @ 7:59 pm

Comments RSSTrackBack URI

Leave a comment

Using modified "Sitepoint-like" Theme. kamaruddin [-at-] gmail *dot* com